How can I change my life and be happy? (Part 2)

Welcome back and if this is your first time joining us, my name is Showleh Tolbert, I am a certified Master trainer and coach of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Time Line Therapy® and instructor of Hypnotherapy. I specialize in transforming lives. We’ve been talking about how I can change my life and be happy.

First, we started talking about “a cause causes a certain effect” and the two sides of life, The Cause side and the Effect side, your results for getting what you want or reasons or excuses for why you don’t have what you want or you could just choose to continue reading.

So in our last blog we left off with “A cause causes a certain effect” and began to talk about how that relates to changing your life and being happy.

So, we may have all these reasons for not having the life we want. And, you may think, I’m pushing on you this issue of having results vs having reasons or excuses for where we are in life.

OH YOU’LL BE AT CAUSE OR ELSE, no no no, that’s not what I’m saying. In fact I don’t even know, I mean I have no proof that you’re at cause for everything you create in your life, there’s no proof of that. However, there’s one very important thing to realize, that if you pretend you are at the cause, even if you don’t believe it, for everything that happens in your life, you’ll get results. It’s just a mindset and that makes the difference.

See, here’s the thing, if I’m pushing the cause, the results, the responsibility of what’s happening in my life outside myself, so I’m going it’s not me, I didn’t do it, it’s not my creation, no no no, it’s not my fault, and by the way, I’m not saying it’s your fault, but look what I can’t get.

I can’t learn anything, I can’t get any lessons.

There is always learning in anything we do, but If I’m dissociated from everything which is the cause, in my life, I don’t get the learnings which are necessary to change my behavior and that’s the important thing.

Learning equals Resources

Learning equals valuable resourceful strategies, decisions, beliefs, that you can utilize in the future, so that, whatever happened in the past, won’t repeat itself. There’s no need. You’ve learned, you’ve grown, you developed, you moved on. That’s what I mean when I say learning.

When you put yourself at cause and you say I am taking responsibility, what you are doing is recognizing that you have the ability to change whatever life is throwing at you.

You can make things happen. You have the power to change things. The ‘locus of control’ is within you rather than outside of you. Go for it, empower yourself, if you so choose! Because, being at Cause gives you Results, being at Effect gives you Reasons and Excuses. Don’t you think?

In the process of letting somebody else choose or decide, that’s even worse, decide for us, we lose our personal choice. We lose our personal self determination and as convenient and as comfortable that it may seem, we lose our way of being totally empowered.

So what happens then we become dependent upon people and organizations around us who are not there to empower us. And these blogs I am sharing with you are totally about empowerment. Results are Empowering

Thank you for giving me your valuable time. I appreciate you. If you got value please be sure to subscribe and come back next week as we dig deeper into our behaviors and beliefs and ways we can permanently change what’s not working in our life.

If you are ready to grow personally or professionally; or you may have an interest in becoming a certified coach, I teach what I do or perhaps you may want to receive coaching, spend some time here, take a look around and then be sure to reach out to me by phone 949-522-1615 or email,

This is Showleh Tolbert wishing you well.

See you next week.