How can I change my life and be happy? (Part 4)

Hello and welcome back. For those of you who are new here, thank you for joining us. My name is Showleh Tolbert, I am a certified Master trainer and master coach of NLP, Time Line Therapy® and Hypnotherapy and I specialize in transforming lives. We’ve been talking about how I can change my life and be happy.

Today, I want to talk about when and how we change.

Let’s imagine a circle around me, like a bubble, and let’s say this is where I am in my life right now (metaphorically speaking). And this is my life around me. It’s my life, Mine. And don’t tell me how my life is, it is my life and I know how it is, because you don’t know how my life is, nobody knows better than me how my life is. This all around me is my world. It’s what I call my world and my world, my life, is different from yours and yours and yours because I see my world through my own eyes and I know how it is.

I know the good parts and I know the bad parts. I know the things that work well and I know how to deal with the bad parts. Because they’re mine. And those bad parts, I wish, I’d be somewhere else, I hope I’d be somewhere else, I’d dream of being somewhere else. I may be praying that one day something will happen and I move somewhere else.

Oh, it’s Monday, well I got to go to work. Oh good it’s Wednesday and something happens, all of a sudden you go WOW this is so good, I didn’t even expect this. All of a sudden you get a promotion and you get to be appreciated. The boss actually says, you did a good job and something happens that spikes up into very good. If it gets that good you’ll say WOW.

This is so good and you put a smiley 🙂 right there next to “so good”. So this is really good when life smiles to you, when your finances couldn’t be any better, when you feel safe and secure in everything you do. When your family relationships are happy. Where your health is at optimum 100%. Where your personal relationship is, it couldn’t be any better, so this is REALLY good.

That’s the best. This is how it is going with the life we only dream to have!

Now when people have experiences like this in their life then they change something because it’s so good they cannot stay the old way, because it’s so good that they change something in their life to hold on to the so good!

Pray for that! That’s good, that’s very good. Think about it!

Now, as life goes on and people stay here, what we call the Comfort Zone or the Gray Zone.

How is your job? Well, it sucks, but I’d prepared for it for years, I have a degree in it, I’m not really appreciated for my work, I’m not paid as well for my value, but, it pays the mortgage and I don’t really like my boss, I don’t like the working condition, because I don’t like my co-workers, BUT I got all the good reasons why I should be happy. Why I should like it, because I’m making an okay salary,

How is your relationship? Well, I’m not divorced yet.

How is your health? Well, I’m not sick.

How are your kids? Well they’re not on drugs or in jail.

Most people live their lives here, in their comfort zone. It’s not particularly good but this is where it’s not bad and life goes this way. I’ll be better. Uh, a little worse. Somewhere in the middle, see, it’s good what I’m doing. It’s not bad.

Now something else happens and it spikes the opposite way of good. The other end of the spectrum and this is bad. This is not just a little bit bad (how bad is it?) This is when you hit rock bottom, where I was back in 2003 and you say, it couldn’t be any worse and it gets worse.

People say how is it going? You go, it SUCKS. That’s the bottom of the spectrum, that bad. This is really bad 🙁

When things get bad, people change!

And what happens is people make change when it gets really bad because it hurts so badly and it’s so much pain, people change something to get away from that, just like I did. I had hit rock bottom and something had to change. And I did!

Thank you for giving me your valuable time. I appreciate you. If you got value please be sure to subscribe and come back next week as we dig deeper into our behaviors and beliefs and ways we can permanently change what’s not working in our life.

If you are ready to grow personally or professionally; or you may have an interest in becoming a certified coach, I teach what I do or perhaps you may want to receive coaching, spend some time here, take a look around and then be sure to reach out to me by phone 949-522-1615 or email,

This is Showleh Tolbert wishing you well.

See you next week.